Well, as the title says it....just some random thoughts i decided to share......which i wrote at 4 in the morning.
Everything in life is about choices; this thought stems from my strong belief that to get something in life we have to give something up. And most of the time the thing that we have to give up is of equal importance or more than the thing we ask for….. This is inevitable. It’s cruel but true.
Choices…some good, some bad…..some out of need, some out of desperation……some out of greed, some out of sympathy………..some out of responsibility, some out of love….some from envy, some from hate………some because they are important ,some from constraints
Some to be happy, some to see someone else happy………….
Like a little boy who waits for a sunny day in the monsoon, I wait…….I wait for that day…..a day with no choices….where I am free…where I no longer need to decide…when fate takes over…… when it happens….those nights of pain shall fade away…..those memories shall be erased…..those dreams will no longer haunt me……that sweet pain will erode……..and a honest smile shall shine on the horizon.
Pain: ….how some people bear it with ease….and some break down easy…..some who can hold it in them and some who let it out in an instant……how some see it in themselves and some in others eyes….eyes who try to hide the pain from the world….but eyes don’t lie…..the physical nature of pain is it’s prettier side….but the emotional one is the demon inside….who makes u cry a river with a smile on your face ………
I pen down these thoughts with the hope of relinquishing my unfulfilled thirst for self immolation….sacred fires of heaven wont burn me down but this insatiable desire of hope may burn me to ground…lost in these dreams, I yearn for a miracle….hope is what keeps me alive…hope is the light and hope is a commodity I brand with a name….having lost the war I hope to win the battle….but I shall keep fighting till hopelessness prevails……..
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Reflections
well here's something I just thought about and wanted to share it with the universe.....
What is the goal of any individual? Do we ever wonder what is it that we really are after in our lives……what is it that determines the way we lead our lives…..what is it that enables or compels us to make the choices that determine the future…..what is it that makes millions pray……what are they ultimately wishing for…..what is it that we want? Is it to make money…to attain power…to attain respect…to control…to criticize… is it to satisfy the basic wants……is it to attain wisdom….is it to nurture the young…is it to take care of your loved one’s…is it to get this…..is it to achieve that…..?
A recently released movie calls it “the pursuit of happiness”…….how true…..how incredibly simple yet abstract and relative………the two words pursuit and happiness…..which ought to be the most powerful in every individuals lives yet are ignored and sidelined…….happiness……joy…..self-satisfaction……what do these words mean to you……do they have any value in your busy lives..? Just take a moment and think….where do you rate happiness in your list of goals…..whether you even rate happiness as your goal….? Now you are thinking…what is this guy saying….yes I want to be happy….yes I want joy….yes I want to be self-satisfied…..but dear readers that’s not what I asked….read my question…..I am asking you the degree of importance……is to be happy, what you ultimately want..?
A recent study rated India in one of the top 20 places on a survey on happiness in comparison to other countries of the world……..Bhutan…our friendly neighbor to the north, wants to measure its progress not economically, not militarily but by an index which measures how happy the citizens of Bhutan are?...........A little hard to digest for you….no GDP.. no Sensex…no Nuclear Agreement…..well here’s a thought…..100 yrs back people did not have all the gizmos and gadgets that we posses now…….1000 yrs back……people did not have foreign vacations….nor did they have fast food…..plastic money….shopping malls…..cool cars….business class tickets…..etc….Are you claiming that people were not happy back then……are you claiming that they were not self-satisfied……? Now is Bhutan’s logic digestible to you…?
So now think what are you really chasing in life?
A lot of unanswed questions on my mind.....if u have the answers do enlighten me....
What is the goal of any individual? Do we ever wonder what is it that we really are after in our lives……what is it that determines the way we lead our lives…..what is it that enables or compels us to make the choices that determine the future…..what is it that makes millions pray……what are they ultimately wishing for…..what is it that we want? Is it to make money…to attain power…to attain respect…to control…to criticize… is it to satisfy the basic wants……is it to attain wisdom….is it to nurture the young…is it to take care of your loved one’s…is it to get this…..is it to achieve that…..?
A recently released movie calls it “the pursuit of happiness”…….how true…..how incredibly simple yet abstract and relative………the two words pursuit and happiness…..which ought to be the most powerful in every individuals lives yet are ignored and sidelined…….happiness……joy…..self-satisfaction……what do these words mean to you……do they have any value in your busy lives..? Just take a moment and think….where do you rate happiness in your list of goals…..whether you even rate happiness as your goal….? Now you are thinking…what is this guy saying….yes I want to be happy….yes I want joy….yes I want to be self-satisfied…..but dear readers that’s not what I asked….read my question…..I am asking you the degree of importance……is to be happy, what you ultimately want..?
A recent study rated India in one of the top 20 places on a survey on happiness in comparison to other countries of the world……..Bhutan…our friendly neighbor to the north, wants to measure its progress not economically, not militarily but by an index which measures how happy the citizens of Bhutan are?...........A little hard to digest for you….no GDP.. no Sensex…no Nuclear Agreement…..well here’s a thought…..100 yrs back people did not have all the gizmos and gadgets that we posses now…….1000 yrs back……people did not have foreign vacations….nor did they have fast food…..plastic money….shopping malls…..cool cars….business class tickets…..etc….Are you claiming that people were not happy back then……are you claiming that they were not self-satisfied……? Now is Bhutan’s logic digestible to you…?
So now think what are you really chasing in life?
A lot of unanswed questions on my mind.....if u have the answers do enlighten me....
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Time pass at seminars
These are the thoughts that a boring seminar brings to my mind
My life is nothing but an empty shell, without life nor use i lay bare basking in this heat.............nothing is more painful than these wounds self inflicted by the shame in me........................nothing is more satisfyin than the thought that I shall fade away like a crashing wave...........a prisoner of my own thoughts, I do not want to be freed..........................an architect of my own doom,I do not seek any relief......................................im addicted to this sweet pain,im bound by this culprit curse.............I have pledged my soul to the devils enemy,but still im labeled an advocate of hell.........................motionless now I lay on salted grounds,waiting in anticipation of the judgment day................when he to whom i've pledged my soul,will come and take my sins away.........
My life is nothing but an empty shell, without life nor use i lay bare basking in this heat.............nothing is more painful than these wounds self inflicted by the shame in me........................nothing is more satisfyin than the thought that I shall fade away like a crashing wave...........a prisoner of my own thoughts, I do not want to be freed..........................an architect of my own doom,I do not seek any relief......................................im addicted to this sweet pain,im bound by this culprit curse.............I have pledged my soul to the devils enemy,but still im labeled an advocate of hell.........................motionless now I lay on salted grounds,waiting in anticipation of the judgment day................when he to whom i've pledged my soul,will come and take my sins away.........
Human nature
Well, this counselling skills prof of mine gave us a project to do about a write up on human nature..this is what i came up with...
Human nature is similar to that of a virus; we are the most selfish beings on this planet. Consuming every possible natural resource to fulfill our own comforts. To understand human nature is to explore the boundaries of the universe. It can be as sweet as honey and as vicious as poison. There are great minds like Einstein and destructive minds like Hitler. Human nature can be as caring as Mother Teresa and as violent as Osama bin laden.
Human nature can be as simple as an instinct and as complicated as, well human nature it self. Because complicated again is a term invented by human nature. So what exactly is human nature? What constitutes it? Can it be generalized? I don’t think so, for me human nature is understood by interactions with humans, every one is different, at different times and circumstances. So I believe that if someone says to me that he has understood human nature fully I know he is lying or he is ignorant. I know this because it’s impossible to meet the 6 billion plus humans on earth, and that too at every second of their life.
Every thing in life is about balance, the good and the bad, god and the devil, darkness and light. So as we can’t imagine what lies on the edge of the universe, we can’t see what lies in our own minds. One of the things I believe is that no one knows what’s inside their own mind fully. I may be wrong, but even by being wrong I am proving my own point that the black hole can never be removed completely. So no matter what philosophy I give it does not matter, because my thinking is again a part of human nature and is circumstantial.
How do problems occur? Well if I knew that I would never face problems, prevention is better than cure isn’t it? So ignorance can be a reason, human nature by itself is a reason. Absence of a problem means the other half of the Chinese yin-yan coin is missing. So fulfillment of the universal balance can be a reason. In this case trying to define what is meant by problem is a problem. Every problem starts with a solution, the search for answers, and the search for satisfaction of needs. Does a monk who has given up all the joys and sorrows of this world to meditate under a tree have a problem? Probably he does, his solution is salvation and every action by itself constitutes a problem. A child crying out of hunger has a problem. So are we born with problems?
Can people change? Yes they can, but do they change? Well, it depends on the benefit of the change. Change in itself means the current state is not a desirable one and to change is in search of a better or worse solution from the existing state. Adaptability is inbuilt in human nature. But to change in what sense is a question that only the person willing to change can answer.
What am I willing to do to reduce someone else’s suffering? That’s depends on my motive. As I said earlier humans are selfish, even an unselfish deed is done to feel unselfish, which means it’s selfish. People who say I solve other peoples problems for free are lying. They do it to feel good, or feel happy that they did something right. So it depends on what difference does it make to me, it can be a monetary benefit, a benefit of doing my Christian duties, a benefit of a clean concisions, an emotional benefit etc. So the benefit defines the extent to which I would be willing to solve the other persons suffering. I like helping people, not all people but generally, so I may be doing it because I know them or may be because my concisions hurts if I don’t. Either way it is because I feel obligated to do something. What is this obligation, is it moral, is it religious, and is it human? I don’t know, I guess its one of those things which is a part of my black hole.
Human nature is similar to that of a virus; we are the most selfish beings on this planet. Consuming every possible natural resource to fulfill our own comforts. To understand human nature is to explore the boundaries of the universe. It can be as sweet as honey and as vicious as poison. There are great minds like Einstein and destructive minds like Hitler. Human nature can be as caring as Mother Teresa and as violent as Osama bin laden.
Human nature can be as simple as an instinct and as complicated as, well human nature it self. Because complicated again is a term invented by human nature. So what exactly is human nature? What constitutes it? Can it be generalized? I don’t think so, for me human nature is understood by interactions with humans, every one is different, at different times and circumstances. So I believe that if someone says to me that he has understood human nature fully I know he is lying or he is ignorant. I know this because it’s impossible to meet the 6 billion plus humans on earth, and that too at every second of their life.
Every thing in life is about balance, the good and the bad, god and the devil, darkness and light. So as we can’t imagine what lies on the edge of the universe, we can’t see what lies in our own minds. One of the things I believe is that no one knows what’s inside their own mind fully. I may be wrong, but even by being wrong I am proving my own point that the black hole can never be removed completely. So no matter what philosophy I give it does not matter, because my thinking is again a part of human nature and is circumstantial.
How do problems occur? Well if I knew that I would never face problems, prevention is better than cure isn’t it? So ignorance can be a reason, human nature by itself is a reason. Absence of a problem means the other half of the Chinese yin-yan coin is missing. So fulfillment of the universal balance can be a reason. In this case trying to define what is meant by problem is a problem. Every problem starts with a solution, the search for answers, and the search for satisfaction of needs. Does a monk who has given up all the joys and sorrows of this world to meditate under a tree have a problem? Probably he does, his solution is salvation and every action by itself constitutes a problem. A child crying out of hunger has a problem. So are we born with problems?
Can people change? Yes they can, but do they change? Well, it depends on the benefit of the change. Change in itself means the current state is not a desirable one and to change is in search of a better or worse solution from the existing state. Adaptability is inbuilt in human nature. But to change in what sense is a question that only the person willing to change can answer.
What am I willing to do to reduce someone else’s suffering? That’s depends on my motive. As I said earlier humans are selfish, even an unselfish deed is done to feel unselfish, which means it’s selfish. People who say I solve other peoples problems for free are lying. They do it to feel good, or feel happy that they did something right. So it depends on what difference does it make to me, it can be a monetary benefit, a benefit of doing my Christian duties, a benefit of a clean concisions, an emotional benefit etc. So the benefit defines the extent to which I would be willing to solve the other persons suffering. I like helping people, not all people but generally, so I may be doing it because I know them or may be because my concisions hurts if I don’t. Either way it is because I feel obligated to do something. What is this obligation, is it moral, is it religious, and is it human? I don’t know, I guess its one of those things which is a part of my black hole.
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